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January 4, 2012 at 4:35 am Leave a comment

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Tuesday, January 03, 2012
This is how I feel right now.. I can not get into my higher self which drives me insane.. My studies in the word of JAH are not going like I would want them to .. I know I have to take it in but my vision gets blurry and I get distracted .. I want well I know I am supposed to be memorizing some of the PSALMS they are powerful when used in prayer but it seems like my comprehension skills are screwy.. My writing is not flowing like it used too.. AND I AM COMPLAINING AND I HATE THAT MOST OF ALL

It is just distractions that is all it is a little bit annoying but that just means I am on the right track ya know.. I just would love to really find time to do the things I wanna do I try to do them ( I hate the word try that means failure is an option which right now it has been THE option for my studies and reading.. I just would like some time to read without losing attention in it or being side tracked as always I hate that most of all ( well next to complaining ) lol ..We have to get up at 2 I talked to the wife about how I was feeling and she gets it.

I know what it is .. The Kid can be really annoying and the wife feels like when the kid gets on her nerves she is a bad mom I had to say baby you are human.. Well First I had to tell her I know that i s how she felt .. Than she looked at my like I was a tarot card reader or something .. I just know ppl well. I also said look just because I do not play with her the whole time she is here means nothing.. I am not going to play with anyone for 8 hours She ( kid ) needs to learn we are adults and not her 24 hour play mates.. I know the wife understands she just feels sorry for the child I guess.. beats me on that one she  is just a kid the need to learn things you can’t cater to them forever they will grow up to be messed up but what am I gonna say she won’t ( the wife ) get that part so let her learn on her own.. I keep telling her when she gets older and don’t want you around you’re gonna freak..

Well not me I am gonna be like thank god peace and quiet ( i would never tell the wife that ) but that is normal and I know deep down she feels that way she just thinks she should not

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